


It's Complicated

by HowDidIGetHere_rt



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Friendship, M/M, misha's engagement, poor nathan he didn't deserve this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 21:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18978829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowDidIGetHere_rt/pseuds/HowDidIGetHere_rt
Summary: "Have you heard about Kolyada?"Nathan is at Stars on Ice rehearsal when he finds out that Misha is engaged, and suddenly nothing makes sense anymore.





	It's Complicated

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously I'm super happy for Misha and his fiancee, as I'm sure Nathan is!! But this revalation gave me Feelings, so here we are.

Nate doesn’t speak Russian. Obviously. He barely gives a second thought to Misha’s new Instagram post- it’s just a picture of a beach, so why would he? It was a picture from his vacation or something, whatever. There wasn’t even a translation in the caption so whatever he was saying couldn’t be overly important.

Which is why, at rehearsal, he was caught extremely off guard when he heard the words “Have you heard about Kolyada?” leaving Alex’s mouth.

“Oh my god _yes_ ,” Ashley was practically squealing, “I did not see that coming but good for him!”

Nathan frowned, what the hell were they on about? What about Misha could be so interesting that his fellow Americans were gossiping about it at the side of the rink? “Uh, what about him…?” He asked, suddenly nervous and not quite sure he wanted to know.

Except of course he wanted to know.

“Oh, you haven’t seen?” Maia enthused, “He’s _engaged!_ ”

“What?” Nate’s first reaction was to laugh, because it had to be a joke, right? “No, he’s not!”

The others all looked at him in confusion, “Uh, yeah he is.” Said Ashley.

His heart thudded weirdly. Something was wrong here, they had to have the wrong information, it couldn’t possibly be true, no way. “Nah, that doesn’t make any sense, he’s not…” he shook his head, feeling his heart sinking, “Where are you getting this from?”

“Oh, he posted it on insta or something,” Alex said casually with a wave of his hand, “I dunno, I just saw a lot of people talking about it online.”

“You two are friendly right, Nate?” Ashley asked, “Did you know he even had a girlfriend?”

Nate blinked. This could not be happening. It just couldn’t. “No. I didn’t.” He said tightly. “Like you said, didn’t see it coming.”

If any of them noticed how subdued he had become, they didn’t say anything.

“Right?! Maia replied, “I wonder how long they’ve been together…”

Nate took a deep breath and skated away, leaving them to chat, oblivious to the fact they’d just dropped a massive bombshell on his life, feeling like a building had been dropped onto his chest. Although he still wasn’t quite convinced it was true. How could it be? All that time he’d spend with Misha and he’d never said anything, never even hinted at anything… it just didn’t feel like it could be real and part of him was still clinging on to the possibility that the others had gotten it wrong, somehow.

Fuck, he had to know.

He glided over to the rink exit and went to retrieve his phone out of his bag. He opened Misha’s Instagram page. The most recent post was still that beach picture. His heart was in his throat as he clicked the translate button on the caption.

Fuck.

Even though he knew what he was looking for, Nathan’s breath still hitched in his throat as he read the words.

Right there, clear as day.

“ _I have a bride.”_

Fuck google translate in particular for using that word. It’s like it did it on purpose, to make Nate feel as much pain as possible. Well it fucking worked because he felt like he’d been stabbed in the goddamn heart.

He chucked his phone back in his bag and sat there, scrunching his eyes up. Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry.

When was the last time they’d been together? Worlds... That was only a couple of months ago. He couldn’t have met someone and gotten engaged in a matter of _two months_. The… the _bride_ , whoever she was, had to have been in the picture before. Which means Misha had cheated on her. With him. Nate’s brain was racing. None of this made any sense. Okay so he and Misha weren’t a _couple_ or anything like that, but it had been more than just meaningless hook-ups, right?! It was. It had to have been, they had a connection, he’d felt it. He had been _so_ sure there was something there… that he wasn’t the only one of them with feelings.

He scrunched his eyes up even tighter, but it wasn’t working. He needed to do something before someone noticed him sitting here, crying over a boy that was never his in the first place. Like, what was he, stupid or something? He was from _Russia_. It was never going to work. Even if Misha did feel… had felt… the same way, it wasn’t like there was anything they could do about it.

Part of him wanted to march to Russia, to demand an explanation, if only to make sense of it all. But most of him just wanted to go hide by himself and cry for a bit- pathetic, he knew, but Misha had really gotten to him, with his bright eyes and beautiful smile. But neither of those actions were an option right now. The only option he had was to get back on the ice and prepare for the show. At least it would be something to distract him.

He took a deep breath, rubbed his eyes, and marched back over to the rink. Fuck weddings, fuck Misha, fuck Misha’s ‘bride’. He just needed to get out there and skate.

So that’s what he did.

The show was fine, good, fun. He was thankful for the distraction. Plus, Karen came to watch, and came running up to give him a hug afterwards, “Nate!!”

“Karen! How are you?” He said, squeezing her tight and smiling. There wasn’t much in the world that a hug from your best friend couldn’t make at least a little bit better.

“I’m good! That show was so much fun! How has the tour been?” she said, smiling up at him.

“It’s been fun! Kind of tiring though, I’m ready for a break.”

“Hey, um,” she said, suddenly lowering her voice and putting her hand on Nate’s arm, “Are you alright by the way? Alex said you were acting weird earlier.”

So they had noticed. His smile started fading, but he fought to keep it up. “Weird? What do you mean?”

“I dunno, like, quiet and stuff, not yourself.  Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course, it’s all good.” He chuckled, “Guess I’m more worn out than I thought.”

Karen looked at him sceptically “Well… if you’re sure…?” Nate nodded, and thankfully she changed the subject, “So we’re still on for hanging out tomorrow, right?” she asked brightly.

“Of course! Come by my hotel at 10?”

She smiled, “I’ll be there.”

Later that night, Nate was lying in bed wishing they’d picked a later time. He couldn’t sleep- every time he shut his eyes he saw Misha. Misha next to him on a podium in front of the whole world, Misha appearing on the other side of a hotel door, Misha’s smile after the first time they’d kissed, Misha’s head laying on the pillow next to his, Misha, Misha, MishaMishaMishaMishaMisha. At some point that turned into imagining Misha in a fancy suit at the top of the aisle, smiling that smile not for him, but for some faceless woman in a white dress who could give him everything Nate couldn’t.

Somehow in the morning he managed to get himself up, showered and dressed just before Karen knocked on his door.

“Welcome to my humble abode.” He said as he opened it, “I haven’t had breakfast yet so is it cool if I eat before we go anywhere?”

“Yeah, of course.” Karen walked in and planted herself one of the chairs around the small table in the kitchen space. Nathan poured himself a bowl of cereal and came and sat opposite her. “Hey, Nate?”

“Hm?”

“About yesterday…” she started.

 “What about yesterday?” He frowned, he didn’t want to do this, he just wanted to have a fun day with a friend.

She sighed, “You’re not a good liar, Nate.” He could’ve laughed, she had no idea. “I didn’t push it because there were people around, but I can tell something is up, and if you don’t want to talk about it that’s okay but if you ever do, I’m here for you.”

He briefly considered just insisting he was fine again, but ended up just smiling softly at her, “Thanks, Karen.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes while Nate finished eating, but then when he was done, he abruptly blurted out, without really planning to, “What do you when you find out someone you’ve been sleeping with is actually in a relationship?”

Karen’s eyebrows shot up as her brain absorbed what he was saying, “I… you’ve been sleeping with someone?!”

“Karen.”

“Right, sorry, not the issue. So… do you mean you found out they’ve been in a relationship the whole time or they’ve just gotten into one recently? Because those are two different situations.”

He sighed, “I actually… don’t know how long they’ve been together. I don’t know anything.”

“Well… if you didn’t know anything then that makes them the asshole for cheating, obviously. You haven’t done anything wrong if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Even though Nate knew, he _knew_ what she was saying was objectively true, his first instinct was still to want to defend Misha. “It’s… that’s not it.” He could feel his throat tightening as he spoke, realising that he had no idea how he could explain all this to Karen.

Her face softened, “What is it then?”

“It’s… it’s… complicated.” He managed to squeeze out, eyes fixed firmly on the empty bowl in front of him.

“Complicated how?”

He opened his mouth to say something, but his brain couldn’t form a sentence, so he shut it again.  The tension in his chest that had been building ever since _“Have you heard about Kolyada?”_  finally bubbled over and he just started to cry.

“Oh, Nate…” Karen said, rushing to her feet and moving to wrap her arms around Nathan’s shoulders. “Don’t cry, you deserve better than being treated like that.”

He leaned into Karen’s hug, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, “I guess…. I mean, I know but…” he took a deep breath, trying to stop his voice from being so shaky, “I mean it’s not like he owes me anything.”

He felt Karen’s head turn to look at him in surprise, “He?”

“I told you it was complicated.” He muttered with a slight chuckle.

“Right,” she said, settling her head onto his shoulder, “and this relationship he’s in…?”

“He’s, uhm,” Fuck, he was really gonna have to say it out loud, “he’s engaged. To a woman.” Let her put the pieces together if she figured it out. It’s not like it mattered anymore.

“Oh.”

Yeah. Oh.

“It’s… it’s stupid. I thought… god I don’t know what I thought, but this just… it came out of nowhere and it doesn’t make any sense-” he could feel his eyes starting to prickle with moisture again so cute himself off because what even was he trying to say?

“You’re in love with this guy, aren’t you?” Karen’s voice was tinged with pity.

He stopped breathing for a moment. “…yeah.” He whispered. “I’m in love with him.” He already knew this, really, even though he’d never let him admit it to himself. Any time it popped into his head he had just tried to shake it off, pretend like he’d never had that thought, because it wasn’t any good to anyone. “But it’s not like it matters.”

“Of course it does! Does he know?”

Nate chuckled darkly, “It wouldn’t change anything. It could never work, wedding or not.”

“You don’t know that.” She said pointedly.

“Yeah, I do.”

“It can’t be _that_ complicated-“

“It is.”

“How could it…. Oh my god.” She paused. Nate felt Karen’s whole body tense up as it dawned on her, “Oooooh my god, Nate, is- is it a skater?!”

“…um…”

She untangled her arms from him and turned to look at him with wide eyes and a playful grin on her face, “Nathaniel Chen!”

“My name isn’t Nathaniel-”

“You’ve been sleeping with another skater this whole time?! Okay you _have_ to tell me who it is!”

“No, why would I-”

“Wait… he’s engaged…”

“Karen…”

“Holy. Shit. Nathan.”

“Don’t-“

“It’s Kolyada, isn’t it?”

“…maybe…”

“Oh my god. You’re in love with Mikhail Kolyada!”

“Say it a little louder why don’t you, I don’t think Alex quite heard you in the room next door!” he retorted, but he had to admit it was amusing to watch her get all flustered over this revelation.

“I mean, I get it, he’s cute. But wow, you’ve been sleeping with him? _Regularly?!_ ”

“Karen! Chill!”

She giggled, “Okay. But look, I got you to stop crying!”

He looked at her grinning face and couldn’t help but smile. “You did. Thanks.”

“Good! Do you feel any better?”

Actually, he did.

About good as one can feel when the guy that you’re in love with is getting married to someone else, but better all the same.  

It was going to be a long off season though.


End file.
